Bonding

I've read so much about how it is important to bond with baby by doing skin-to-skin right away when baby is born. With Danielle, I never had that chance. I didn't even get to hold her until the day after she was born. But, I felt like I got to know her though all of the ultrasounds we had. I saw her every week while she was growing inside me. I saw her trying to suck her thumb, sticking out her tongue, stretching (my ribs felt that one too, as I watched her on the monitor!), saw her hair and eyelashes before she was born, and had a pretty good idea of what she looked like even before she arrived. I was given the gift of bonding with her before she was born, since we weren't going to have much time to get to know her once she was born.

With her little sister, I don't feel like I know her as well, or have bonded like I was able to with Danni. I feel somewhat distant from her. At first I thought it was just because I didn't want to get close to her, in case we lost her too. But now, I think it's partly that, and partly that we aren't seeing her every week through ultrasounds like we were with Danni. Now that I'm starting to feel more confident that she'll make it, and that we'll be able to bring her home from the hospital, I feel like I'm missing out on something, that I'm not going to be able to bond with her. But I just have to keep reminding myself, that I will hopefully be able to hold her right after she's born, and we'll bring her home from the hospital. We'll be able to get to know her and bond with her as she grows up with us. This is bringing me hope, and is starting to make me more joyous about this pregnancy and our baby.