"Lord, Make Me a Rainbow..."

"... I'll shine down on my mother, she'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors."
-If I Die Young by The Band Perry

 This song came out (or at least I heard it for the first time) shortly after Danni died. It always made me cry, especially this line of the song. It seemed to be a big hit right about then, and was played on the radio quite a bit. So, of course, I cried quite a bit when it came on.

I hadn't heard it in a while, but it came on the radio on my way into school. I don't think I'd heard it on the radio since I'd heard the term Rainbow Baby, so I didn't put two-and-two together until now. This time when I was listening to it, I still teared up, but it was different this time. Danni asked God to send us her little sister. She's shining down on us, sending us hope, and I know she's safe with God in heaven. It's still hard to think that she's not here with us shining the joy that babies bring into their parents' life. But it's what she can give us, and we love her for it.

A Turtle or Pink?

Our appointment was at 2:30, so my co-worker, Sherrie, covered the last 15 minutes or so of my last class, and I got there just in time. Adam was about 5 minutes behind me, but Krista (my favorite ultrasound tech) was already ready for me. So I asked Wendy (the receptionist) to send him back when he got there. I told Krista that we couldn't find out the gender until he got there, or he would be upset. But he got there before she started.

Baby was breach (butt down), which I don't think Danni ever was. Baby was moving all over the place (I had drank half a can of Pepsi, when I rarely ever drink pop). And baby kept putting its hands in front of its face (shy little thing!).

But Krista got a couple nice profile shots of baby!

Krista scanned baby, and baby's legs were crossed, so we couldn't tell yet (Danni always had her legs open for the world to see!). So she started scanning baby's organs and such. Baby's brain is developing normally, kidneys are good, stomach is good, spinal cord with "bowling ball finger holes" (I guess that's a good thing!), little developing bones. In the middle of scanning, there was a knock on the door, and Joan (our genetic counselor) came in, she wanted to see our healthy baby and say congrats. While she was in there, Krista scanned the lenses in baby's eyes, and they reflected back to the probe. Joan said that the first time she saw that was on her own ultrasound, and she was convinced that her baby had a tumor in its eye. Joan left, and Krista scanned baby's 4-chamber heart again (can't get enough of seeing that!).

Textbook 4-chamber heart!

Baby has a 3-vessel cord (Danni's was only two, which is a sign of a heart defect). Krista showed us the 10 fingers and 10 toes again.

Measurement of little right foot!

Little right hand

Krista eventually went back down to baby's bottom to see if she could see a turtle (boy) or three little dots (girl). I couldn't tell with baby's legs crossed, but apparently Krista saw what she needed to, so she wrote on the screen... Adam said he saw three little dots too, but even after she scanned it, I could only see two.

Then Krista tried to get baby to turn so that she could see her aortic arch to make sure the plumbing going to her heart was all good. She kept running the probe down her spine and she much have been ticklish or something cause she kept driving her head up into my the ribs in my back. But eventually she got a good view of her valves and all looked good!

Krista gave us a bunch of pictures, and gave us her growth results. She is measuring at 17 week, 4 days, and we are currently 17 weeks, 2 days, so we're pretty much on schedule. I told her how my mom keeps telling me that this baby is going to be big (since I'm bigger than I was at this point with Danni). I asked Krista what she thought about Danni, with her complications, growing quicker since she was about 2 weeks ahead of what we thought she was. But Krista said usually babies with two vessel cords and other complications grow slower, which is why we were having growth ultrasounds every week.

Then said she would let Dr. Danilenko (many of you may know her as "scary doctor" from Danielle) know that we were waiting for her. Dr. Danilenko came in and said that it was good to see us again. I just smiled, and said, "Yes, you too." She said that all looked good and she did a very quick scan of our baby girl. This time, when she scanned her bottom, I could see three little dots! She gave us a referral slip for a 20-week ultrasound, and we scheduled it with Wendy on our way out. (Of course, Krista said that everything that she would be scanning for at the 20-week level II, she had already seen at this appointment.)

On our way out, Adam texted my mom and told her that her and I would have a lot of shopping to do. So mom texted back saying that it's a boy! And Adam replied, "No, she needs more pink clothes!"

More Movement than I Thought!

On Sunday morning, we were laying in bed, and Adam had his arm across my tummy, right at the top of my uterus. I could really feel the baby kicking, and asked Adam if he could feel it too, but he couldn't. So I just laid there enjoying the tiny kicks of tiny feet.

That night, I realized that I had probably been feeling the baby move a lot more than what I had thought. Since the placenta is in the front, I can't really feel the baby kick in the front, but on the top of my uterus. I remember feeling movement there often, and pausing. Then I just thought, oh, that's my stomach... again. I think all this time it was the baby!

Starving!

Pretty much all this week, I've been starving all the time. I can barely make it through a class period without eating, which makes it hard to tell the kids they can't eat in the classroom, while I'm chowing down.

********* Long pause ************

Sorry, had to get a snack before dinner.

I don't remember ever being this hungry with Danielle, but I'm wondering if it's in part due to being sick for a week and not eating as much. Now I need to catch up and chow down! Speaking of food, here's a picture of how big I'm getting...

16 Weeks, 4 Days

Alive & Kickin'

I've been anxiously waiting to feel the baby move (it's reassuring to know that he or she is still "alive & kickin' "). As I was sitting here playing with my blog & uploading some belly pictures, I felt the first tiny little kicks! I hope that I can keep feeling them to reassure me that everything is still going well! I remember being happy to feel Danni kick (it made me feel as it she were just fine in there), but I think I've been waiting so long for this one, that's it's more of a relief! I just hope that I don't start to get nervous when I don't feel kicks everyday...

Facebook Official!

So I guess we can make it "Facebook Official" now, and announce that we're having a baby (due August 13, 2011, I'm currently 16 weeks along). We talked about when we wanted to tell other people, since with Danielle, we felt that the pregnancy was very public. (I had a lady at St. Bernard's come up to me after Danni died, and say that I must be the teacher that was pregnant that they were praying for the baby.) We were very glad to have all the prayers from so many different people and places, and I really enjoyed keeping people updated on her progress (I think it helped to keep my spirits up!). But this time, we wanted to play it more low-key. We joked about showing up for Christmas one year with a 5-year-old, and springing the news then. I kind of wanted to wait until 20-weeks, but with rumors that were started among our family, and Adam's sister's wedding approaching (I'm a bridesmaid, and will be 6-1/2 months along), we decided to tell them sooner. I have shared it with my boss and co-workers, so now we can make it news for the rest of the world!

I'll be keeping this blog though out the pregnancy (and probably as the little one grows up... we'll see how busy our second one keeps me!), like I did with Danielle. We hope that it will only have good news to bring you, and look forward to sharing the story of our Rainbow Baby with you!

15 Weeks, 4 Days
(I was once told that this sweater made me look pregnant, so it's working great as a maternity sweater!)

This is a "normal appointment"?

Since Adam was supposed to have school (he ended up having a snow day!), I thought it would be fun for mom to come with and we could make a "date afternoon" out of it. We went to Noodles & Co. for lunch (I had read that if you brought in 3 boxes of mac & cheese that they would give you a free bowl of their new mac & cheese). Then went to the appointment. Afterward, we went to DSW (I needed new brown shoes... the ones I had were from high school, and needless to say, had seen better days), and Michael's.

So, more about the appointment... We didn't wait too long to get in. The nurse that took us back (I don't remember her name), took my weight (down a couple pounds), and asked if I had any questions for Liz (the midwife). I said that I had a cold and wanted to know what I could take, and that I wanted to hear the heartbeat again (for reassurance that the baby is still alive & well!). She said, well, of course, that's routine. (Who knew?!)

Liz took a little while getting in, but she sat down with us for a while and talked. She said I could take Sudafed, Robitussin, Claritin, or Afrin (I think she mentioned some others, but that's what I remembered). I was supposed to ask her about two or three other things, but forgot (Adam reminded me when I got home).

Then she had me get up on the table, and she took out the Doppler. Mom was very eager to hear the heartbeat. It didn't take her too long to find this time, but baby kept moving, so it was hard to keep for long. When we heard it though, mom started crying (isn't the pregnant one supposed to be the emotional wreck?). She was so happy! The heart rate was 155-156 bmp, which of course convinced mom (again) that it is a girl. Then she asked Liz if she could take any guesses to the gender of the baby. But Liz said that if the heart rate were in the 170's, she would agree that it is probably a girl, but at this point, she's not convinced. (I guess we'll find out for sure in two weeks at our next ultrasound at Perinatal!)

Then she checked to make sure that the baby and I were growing at the right rate. She measured my uterus: 15 cm = 15 weeks. (Who knew that too?! With Danni, they just measured her!) One thing I later mentioned to mom, was that I thought it was kind of strange that they had paper, disposable tape measures, that they just threw away after use. It makes sense to me, but I guess I just figured they used like a sewing one and washed it or something. Or maybe kept the same one for each patient, each time. (They did that with the elastic, velcro bands they used for the NST's I had with Danni.)

I guess I still have a lot to learn, even the second time around. I'm enjoying the "normal" parts of a pregnancy, that I never experienced before!