Parenting a Child in Heaven

I think the past couple days have been rough for both of us, and I think the upcoming week won't be any easier. I'm not sure why it's been harder for either of us. On my way home from work on Friday, mom called me and wanted to go put an upright marker where Danni is, so that we can find her when the snow starts piling up.

On my way over, Sissy's Song by Toby Keith came on the radio. It's one song that really got to Adam, but I hadn't heard it quite as often. I listened to the lyrics more and it got to me a little too. When I got there, I picked out which one I liked best, and we drove out to see her, and place the pink wreath by her stone.

After, I went back to mom and dad's to have dinner, and mom and I started looking through all her pictures on facebook and talking about her. I really do like talking about her, but some things get me more choked up than others.

Eventually, Adam called me from up at the cabin. He said, when he got out of radio range, he just shut off the radio and just sang to himself (he does that all the time at home too!). But he said he kept singing part of "Your Eyes" from Rent.

"... How'd I let you slip away. When I'm longing so to hold you. Now I'd die for one more day. Cause there's something I should have told you..."

I see people on facebook posting different things they're doing with the kids, and see them parenting their child. They ask questions on facebook about different parenting things, and get many answers from others. Adam and I have a totally different way that we get to parent our child, and (thankfully) there's not many people that can relate or give advice.

My parenting choices were how I wanted to mark the place that my daughter is buried. And talking about her so that memories of her will go on. While others get to worry about midnight feedings, with so little sleep, and poopy diapers, Adam and I so want to be able to do those things with Danni.