Ender, the Little Bugger

Alright, so if you've read the book, you'll find the title of this post amusing. Though, I don't mean that Ender is an alien trying to take over planet Earth. Although, maybe that's how the world ends on December 21, 2012...

So, I kind of have a lot to post about. With both girls, I was so much better about staying on top of posts. Although, I will admit, I never actually finished the post about Danni's last appointment. I think I wrote a sentence or two, and afterwards, I didn't want to go back and write about it.

To start, I had an appointment last week. At this point, I don't remember a lot of the details, but I do remember that Dr. Mahan said he was breech, and we were going to schedule the c-section for December 26th. Monday, I had an ultrasound (oh, boy, was that a long appointment!), and yesterday, I had another appointment with Dr. Mahan.

Adam and Nora came with to the ultrasound, and as we were sitting in the lobby, I asked Adam if I had remembered to ask to be scheduled for Krista's room, when Jill, a new ultrasound tech with Allina, called my name. She said that she was going to start the ultrasound, and Krista would come in at the end. Well, when she first scanned, Ender was breech. She went around checking over the usual things they check at a level 2 and a growth ultrasound (though, she only needed to check the growth). She got two pictures of his foot for us while she was scanning, and found that the placenta hasn't really moved. :( She also found that his heart rate was 128 bpm.

Eventually, Krista came in, and Jill asked her a few questions about how to get good pictures of certain parts (being as he was breech, it made some things hard to see). She had problems with parts of his heart (everything is fine, she just couldn't see, if I remember correctly, the RVOT very well, but Krista found it just fine), and with his diaphram. Not that I know much about how to hold the probe to get the pictures they want, but I did know that what she was looking at was not a good picture of it. She was angled wrong, I guess. I just knew it didn't look right, since I saw Danni's diaphram so many times when they would do BPP and check for practice breathing. Krista gave her some pointers though (like looking for the bright white circle of his ribs) to make sure she was at the correct angle.

His big foot up by his head

Before we wiped the jelly off my belly, Krista pulled out the 3D probe, and told Jill she had promised to get some 3D's at this ultrasound, since she couldn't at the last one. At this point, Ender had decided to move to a transverse position facing downward. I'm not sure it made the 3D's any easier to capture though, since he had his hand in front of his face most of the time.

A little distorted since she had to crop out his arm.

Cuddled in, sleeping on his arm.

Once Krista had gotten a couple pictures for us, she told us Dr. Ledella, Dr. Ledella!, would be in to chat with us. I saw her through most of my pregnancy with Danielle - and love her, but only once with Nora, since she was out on medical leave (and I was being seen at Comprehensive for my appointments - just ultrasounds at Perinatal). I guess she had gotten tied up, and was running a little behind (Krista came in twice to let us know her status). But she eventually came in, and scanned again to see that the placenta still had about 3 cm to go, which meant it wasn't going anywhere in time for delivery, and to find that Ender, the little bugger, had now moved to a head down position. Holy buckets kids, do you ever sit still?!

I think one reason I love Dr. Ledella is that she is a woman of faith. While we were chatting, she commented about how Ender was a blessing from God. He is, and it's nice to hear a doctor say it. She talked the same way with Danielle, and how the small victories each week at her appointments were God-given.

Alright, onto yesterday, our appointment with Dr. Mahan. She found his heart rate to be about 160 bpm, and that he was in a head down position still - or probably again... I'm sure he had done several back flips between the ultrasound and the appointment the next day. We talked to her about the possibility of moving the c-section to December XX instead of the 26th, since that would be exactly 37 weeks according to the due date that they have (mine is a little off from theirs, though I tend to believe mine). So we did. I also asked her about his position again (I did at the last appointment too), and how they would have to slice me open. (With a bikini cut, you can VBAC, but if they make a "classical" cut, then you can't.) She said the only way that she would have to make a classical cut is if he is transverse and face up, since there would be nothing for her to grab to pull him out. I told her how he was doing acrobatics at the ultrasound, and she said that they might end up having to scan me before hand to make sure of his position. I'm kind of afraid that he won't be in the right position, and I won't be able to VBAC again. (Prayers for optimal positioning would be nice!)

How far along?: 34 weeks 3 days
Total weight gain/loss: About 22 pounds. I think that's the most I've gained with any of the kids, but I also started at a much lower weight this time, since I was still nursing Nora.
The Bump: Large & in charge. Though, I feel like when I wear my extra big winter jacket zipped up that people might not be able to tell.

32 weeks 4 days

32 weeks 4 days

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: The big day when we meet baby *blank.* (Yep, I think we have a name picked out other than Ender! And, nope, we're not sharing)
Maternity Clothes: I don't even feel like this should be a question anymore...
Symptoms: Just 3rd trimester uncomfortable-ness. Back pain, sleeping, rib kicks...
Belly Button in or out?: Out... I wonder how long it will take to go back in.
Food Cravings/Aversions: Still milk/ dairy. I've been making warm milk with flavored creamers lately. Once in a while hot chocolate, but mostly warm milk.
What I miss: Being able to play with Nora like I used to. I've found other ways to make her giggle & laugh, but still.
Milestones: Supposedly at this point baby is supposed to be "head down and preparing for birth." Not that Ender is, but his lanugo hair is disappearing.

Comforting My Baby

Adam downloaded and installed Windows 7 for me a while ago. I think it was a birthday or Christmas present. At any rate, it has one pretty cool feature where you can have a rotating desktop background. You select the pictures that you want it to flip through, and then every 5, 10, or 15 minutes it will change the picture. We both, of course, have pictures of our beautiful baby girl, Danni, that rotate though our computer backgrounds. 

Most of the time I have windows open on my computer and can't really see the pictures. One in a while I see the edge of a picture and it catches my eye, so I minimize my window and see our daughter. Sometimes I smile. Sometimes I just stare and miss her. Sometimes it brings back a memory. Sometimes I talk to Adam about her. But these four photos...

... have recently brought up a new feeling. I used to see them and love how alive and well she looked. (Nothing tells you more "I'm here, I'm alive, and I want attention," more than a crying baby.) They would make me smile at the thought. But recently, I see these pictures pop up on the computer, and I want nothing more than to pick up my baby girl and comfort and sooth her, let her know her mommy's here, and everything is okay. But when these pictures were taken, I was in the recovery room, while Adam was standing over her (taking the pictures to show me). He couldn't pick her up and comfort her, because they were testing her, checking her, getting her hooked up to countless machines, etc. So all he could really do was watch her.

It does make me feel a little bit better knowing that she might have just been crying to hear the sounds she could make, as Adam said she only cried for a minute or so, and then was perfectly content again.

I think it helps too, to know that she is in heaven, and not in any pain. No nurses are working on her. No one is poking her with needles. She's not hooked up to monitors with alarms going off. I'm sure she's made lots of friends in heaven (we've met lots of their parents, and they are wonderful people!). I know she is very happy, smiling down on us, and waiting for us to meet her little sister, knowing that this little baby has brought so much hope into our lives again.

Back to Perinatal... (& Comprehensive)

Today was full of baby appointments, and since it is my mom's birthday (and she has off work, and she really really wanted to see her granddaughter) I had her come along instead of Adam. At my last appointment, two weeks ago, I was measuring a little small, so they ordered a growth ultrasound to make sure everything was okay with the baby, and I had asked to be able to go back to MN Perinatal.

All last week when I would worry about it, I kept thinking that her amniotic fluid levels were low. It made sense to me, because I felt like I could feel her moving a lot more than I could with Danielle, so I figured there was less room for her to swim around in without hitting me. Without having any fundal height measurements from Danni, I really have nothing to go by for a comparison.

When we got to Perinatal, Wendy, the receptionist, wasn't there, and the past couple times I've called, I've gotten someone else as well. So I asked the receptionist if she was still working there. I guess she's just on vacation this week, and there's another receptionist that has been working sometimes too. We waited a couple minutes and soon Kristen, an ultrasound tech that I've never met, called me back. (Kristen doesn't normally work at the Woodbury clinic, and was hired on towards the end of my pregnancy with Danielle.)

She asked lots of questions about the pregnancy, ones that I'm guessing Krista (my favorite tech) wouldn't have had to ask, since she knows the answer to most of them. Then she got to scanning. Baby was head down with her butt up in my stomach (as always! UGH!), and her legs stretched straight across with her feet into my side. Her face was kind of buried and hidden, so she couldn't really get any 3D's done, but she got a 2D done of her looking straight at us.

She measured everything she needed to measure for the growth, and gave her all 8 points for the biophysical profile (BPP). She checked her heart rate; it was 141 bpm. I asked if she could see if she had any hair (you could see lots of hair on Danni's head at her 29 week ultrasound), but she didn't really have any. At the end of the scan at 34 weeks and 2 days, she said she weighted 4 pounds 14 ounces (Danni measured 5 pound at 33 weeks, just for comparison's sake), putting her at 33 weeks and 3 days. So, pretty much right on track. Kristen said she would give the information to Dr. Mills and that she would be in shortly.

While we were waiting for Dr. Mills to come in, Joan, the genetic counselor, stopped in to see us. We talked about the baby a little and how I might be able to be a stay at home mom. She told us her youngest just finished with daycare and started going to school this past year. When she got the final statement from the non-profit church daycare that the total she had paid was $50,000. We talked about how much money it saves being able to stay home with your kids.

Soon Dr. Mills came in the room, and Joan left. (Let me tell you first off, Dr. Mills is much better at letting you know something is wrong than Dr. Danilenko, "the scary doctor.") She introduced herself and came in the room. Then, she told us that baby girl is growing well, and is pretty much right on track, and that she passed the BPP just fine. (She told us all the things that were right with her.) Then she said that her amniotic fluid was just slightly low. I guess 8.0 to 24.8 cm is normal, and baby has 7.9 cm. (Call it a mother's intuition!)

(As a math teacher, it bothers me that a fluid level is measured in a length, and not a volume, like cubic centimeters. But, they only measure lengths of fluid pockets, so I guess that part makes sense. Like I told Krista once with Danni, it should at least be measured as an area. Anyway, enough on that rant...)

Dr. Mills took a look at her, and said just by looking without measuring, her fluid did look on the low end, but she had a pretty full bladder, and if she peed, it would put her into the "normal" range, but still on the low end of normal. She said that she could partly blame it on the summer heat, and that I should be drinking more fluids, but said that the doctors should be watching it also.

Before she left, she asked if we had any questions. I did; I wanted to know if what my doula, Ashley, she agreed with. Ashley said that they got a more accurate size of the baby by palpitations than by ultrasound. She smiled and said there was a report in some journal (she said the name, but I don't remember) about that very thing. She said that doctors, with experience, can more accurately tell the weight of a baby than ultrasounds. The thing with ultrasounds is that they measure the bone lengths in several places, and then the circumference of the abdominal cavity, but they don't take into affect the chubby little legs and arms and cheeks... She went on for a little bit about it, and I found it quite interesting. She seemed to be an "old-fashion" doctor, and said a lot of doctors now-a-days just depend on ultrasound, and the practice has kind of gone to the wayside.

Before we headed to Comprehensive, I asked for a copy of the record, because I figured they wouldn't have it in 20 minutes when my appointment was. Then off we went.

At Comprehensive, we met with Aimee Neumann, the nurse practitioner. I gave her the report and she looked it over. She measured my fundal height at 31 cm. I should be at 34 cm this week, but she said that I had grown so that was good. But she wanted to get another ultrasound done next week. I asked to go back to Perinatal again and she was fine with that. She listened to the heart rate and said it was between 130 and 140 bpm. Before she sent us on our way, she gave me my next Pampered Pregnancy gift: bath salts!

Before we left the clinic, I made the rest of my appointments. Then mom and I headed out shopping and for lunch. We went to Panera Bread, right next to Perinatal (which is where mom took me after our first ultrasound with Danni), and saw Joan getting lunch there as well.

And now for your viewing pleasure... here is me at 34 weeks and 2 days pregnant with our baby girl!